Last night I went to the Marilyn Manson concert at the Paramount. So much to say.

First, we went to Von’s for dinner before the show. I’ve been wanting to go there for a long time, mainly because I’ve been intrigued by their sign that says Martini – Manhattan Memorial. I like martinis.

So Von’s was good. Very friendly staff all around, great food, and a fun atmosphere. The walls of the dining room are entirely covered in beer tap handles, which are fun to look at. I had a yummy roast chicken, a dirty martini, a decidedly clean martini, and apple crisp. All yum.

There was a fairly long line to get into the Paramount, but it moved fast enough. While we shuffled along, we were entertained by the fruitless efforts of Jesus-sign guys. Apparently Jesus has given us over to our wrongful passion. I got a Get Out of Hell Free Card, and then I actually witnessed a Jesus-sign guy who was reasonable and logical and possibly even sane and intelligent.

Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently, there are whole droves of people out there dissatisfied with the way people go to the bathroom. Who knew? 

First, we have the women with a grudge against how men pee. According to Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up (www.mapsu.org), it’s unclean and rude for guys to pee standing up. Tiny pee particles get everywhere, and then their mommies have to clean it up, which destroys families and causes nations to go to war.

Read the rest of this entry »

As I sit here at the College Fair, manning my lonely little desk, it occurs to me that I like kids. Not necessarily the little ones, although I do love it when they’re just starting to talk. But little kids get enough attention (except from the seemingly deaf-blind-mute parents who let their kids run amok in grocery stores and shopping malls, shrieking like banshees, knocking over senior citizens, and demanding candy bars — but that’s another post).

I like high school kids. Adolescents. Smallish humans in the throes of one of life’s most agonizing stages.

Read the rest of this entry »

I sure wish I could enjoy a pleasant lunch full of noodly goodness without being distracted by rude people all over the place.

There are three types of people who annoyed me at the pho place today.

1. Guy who’s eating alone, but chooses to sit at a table for six so he can “spread out with the newspaper.” I can guess why he’s eating alone. Eventually, the place got so crowded, he was forced to share two seats with a mother and child, while he still occupied the space of four place settings. I left before the mother and child got their food, but I’m hoping the little boy splished noodle juice all over Mr. Considerate’s newspaper.

Read the rest of this entry »

I can’t quite come to terms with Fred Thompson running for president. I mean, he’s the guy on Law and Order. He’s the stalwart and compassionate-yet-tough-on-crime District Attorney. I think his character would make a decent president, but the real him is republican. Yuck.

It’s tough, because he looks very presidential. Doesn’t resemble a monkey at all. And I gotta like his taste in TV shows.

Read the rest of this entry »