Today, in a desperate attempt to post something, anything, that requires very little effort, I will reveal the glorious effects when I Google myself. I recommend you trying this on yourself, but it might not work so well if your name isn’t as weird (or at least as weirdly spelled) as mine.

When I type in my first and last name, I discover things I didn’t realize or remember, and I’m a little surprised that I have more than one page of goodies. Evidently I have a ScrapBlog and a ScrapBio, probably created back when I actually made scrapbook pages and labored under the cruel delusion that someday the world might want to share in the awesomeness that is my craftiness.

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No, it’s not made out of real babies.

So there I was, sitting at a Mongolian grill, eating my baby corn cooked before my eyes in my own selection of vegetables and oils, when it occurred to me for about the thousandth time that I don’t know what baby corn really is. Is it corn that just hasn’t grown up? (And if that’s the case, why? Is it a Peter Pan syndrome on the part of the corn, or maybe some kind of cruel corn-puberty-prevention ritual?) Or is it some kind of vegetable not even remotely related to corn that just happens to look like corn, and hence was named in its honor? Or is it a weird variety of corn that naturally grows up to look like a Munchkinland version of a summertime BBQ favorite?

Perhaps you have pondered the same weighty question — I wouldn’t be surprised. Well, today is the day we wonder no more!

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I like cheetahs. I think they might be my favorite animal.

I read a book once (it was a picture book, but it still counts) that talked about how cheetahs all look alike. I never really noticed that, because all lions look alike, and all giraffes look alike, and basically any group of animals in the wild look a lot like each other.

But then I looked more closely at the pictures of the cheetahs. They really do look alike. I mean, alike-alike. They have the same markings. Not in the way that giraffes all have spots, or tigers all have stripes, but they really have the same markings. The same dark spots near their eyes, for starters.

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