Salient Facts About New Guy

1. He has a very loud ringtone on his personal cell phone, and it is some country song.
2. When I snark about exhibitors after they’ve left the desk, he tells me I’m very negative rather than joining in.
3. The book he’s reading is some Christian non-fiction thing that he could not explain to my satisfaction.
4. He left me alone on the busiest day of the show to tend to his sick kid. Apparently his wife couldn’t leave her highly pressing job in data entry.
5. He habitually falls out of chairs, knocks phones off desks, and trips over cords with much flamboyance and little finesse.
6. He takes personal calls on his cell phone while helping exhibitors, who he then must pass off to me.
7. He gets to show site late every day and jets out at the first possible moment, because he claims it takes him at least 15 minutes to walk the 1/4 mile to the train stop.
8. He lives with his parents and his wife lives in an apartment. I’m not sure where the kids live. But the dogs live with his parents.
9. He has a tattoo of a cross with an American flag.
10. He has a tattoo of a local punk band. Local in this case means Bremerton. Their ‘hit’ song was called “Move to Bremerton.” He’s not a member of the band. Just a very very big fan.
11. He is attending a Christian music concert tonight. His wife spent three hours on various buses trying to get there early to get good them seats. She took a bus from Auburn to SeaTac, then transferred to a bus to downtown Seattle, then transferred to a bus to Redmond, where the concert is.
12. When I mentioned I’m attending a Marilyn Manson concert on Monday, he looked at me as if I’d just bitten the head off a newborn puppy.
13. When I asked him what he was doing for Valentine’s Day, he said they didn’t have plans. After all, his wife’s birthday was just a week ago, and he gave her flowers then. How many flowers do you need? Plus, she doesn’t like chocolate or jewelry, so there’s nothing really to do for Valentine’s Day.
14. In the two hours I wasn’t supervising him, he took two checks from customers, handled them completely wrong, and jacked up my whole receipt book in the process.
15. He didn’t pay his mortgage for about six months while trying to sell the house. Now he’s confused about why his credit score is low and he can’t buy another house.
16. He has 3 sons between the ages of one and four.
17. He (absentmindedly, I hope) rests his feet on the foot rest of my stool, tapping and swinging me back and forth in an unnerving way.
18. I bought him lunch a few days ago because he didn’t have cash and said he’d buy next time. So today, when he was going to buy, he couldn’t because “the money was not in his account.”
19. He was married 3 months after meeting his wife because she got pregnant.
20. He was out on the floor for an hour to pass out invoices to booths. In that time, he passed out only five because he couldn’t find the booths. Despite the fact that they are numbered, there are aisle and floor signs, and he had a map.
21. After his failed invoicing expedition, he sat at the desk for half an hour peering dubiously at the map. Then he spent another half-hour painstakingly highlighting on the map each booth he needed to drop an invoice at. With two hours left, he set off again, with highlighted map in hand. FYI, there are about 400 invoices to pass out.
22. About 45 minutes later, he returned, having passed out about 5 or 10 more. He had given up because he came to an exhibitor who yelled about the invoice. Wimp. He’s going to come in at 7am tomorrow to pass them out when nobody’s in their booths.