Top 10 Turkey Day Traditions ‘Round Here:

10. An array of more food than could ever be consumed by a small army. But there are surprisingly few leftovers. Oink!

9. Grab a plate from one of the many tables set up (each with a different themed table setting) and chow down at the buffet-style meal. Grabbing a plate saves your seat. And the kids’ table is the cool table.

8. Eat around 1:00pm, lament the inability to close the top button on your pants, and then continue to graze for the rest of the day.

7. Cranberry sauce from the can. The smooth kind of cranberry sauce.

6. Tons of black olives to stick on your fingers and then eat.

5. Layered salad. Good to have some greenery in the diet. Even if it is slathered with mayo and coated in cheese and bacon.

4. Pumpkin spice cake — a new addition this year (actually a birthday cake, but luckily birthdays happen every year too), and it’s mighty tasty.

3. Sneaking bits of crispy turkey skin. And brazenly snatching whole hunks of crispy turkey skin.

2. Gravy served in a soup tureen. A really big soup tureen. Or a coffee pot.

1. ADS! Must spend hours poring over the various circulars, making notes, comparing prices, re-checking ads for deals that may have materialized since the last time they were read, debating the value and inconvenience of rebates, and developing a plan of attack for Black Friday.