To make my commute even more fabulous this morning, I had to deal with Mr. Bus-Driver-Off-His-Meds.

So there I am, driving down I-5 in the right lane, minding my own business, when Metro comes in from the on-ramp. He needs to merge, but there’s plenty of room behind me, so I don’t really pay any attention. I just keep doing what I’m doing, which is following pretty close to the car in front of me, since I’m taking the next exit and we aren’t going that fast anyway.

It becomes apparent that Busman doesn’t want to pull his enormous rig into the equally enormous space behind me, and that he instead plans to just merge right on top of me, absorbing my car in his carelessness. This annoys me, but he is about 30 times bigger than me, so I start to slow down.

All of a sudden, Bustard slams on the brakes, practically swerving off the road, as if he’s just now realized that his lane ends and that there’s a car frantically trying to avoid being flattened by his persistent leftward drifting.

I’m confused, because I was slowing down to let him hog the road, but now I’m forced to either slam on my brakes as well to continue to allow his retardation, or punch it to get past him and out of the Film-at-11 danger zone. I choose the latter.

I take my exit and stop at the light.

Curiously, he too takes the exit and stops at the light, although his bus placard says “Return to Terminal” and this is most definitely not the way to the bus barn.

Suddenly, Captain Daredevil is standing next to my window, which I’m obliged to roll down, although I’m more than a little weirded out by the abrupt appearance of a bus driver not in his bus, but standing beside my car.

He bursts out with, “You know, I have a really hard job! I don’t need you to make it any harder!” I start to explain, in my bewilderment, that I was slowing down to let him go by, when he interrupts with a sarcastic “Thanks!” and some eye rolling, muttering, and head shaking. Then he stalks back to his power animal.

The light changes, and I continue on my merry way, perplexed and angry at the senseless berating I just received for having the nerve to get practically run off the road.

I assume that the Transit Avenger got back on the freeway and went wherever he was originally supposed to go. Hopefully, wherever that is, they have some good meds there.